Of Cupcakes and Butterflies: Trying to catch my breath...

*Gasp!*

I lost my breath.

I don’t remember what I was doing, but I saw an old picture of Gabi a couple months ago and it took my breath away. In one second, I was grappling with seeing my beautiful child & feeling those gooshy, mommy emotions, and being so sad at how fast the days, weeks, months have seemed to fly by. There she was, sitting on the floor with her Pooh Bear looking bleary-eyed up at the camera. Sweet innocence! I wanted so desperately to reach through the picture and snuggle again with that little girl. Ivy was a month old when I saw this picture of Gabi and maybe there was a bit of post-birth emotions at play, but I felt that Time had hit me and I couldn’t help feeling that Time was slipping through my hands.

Gabi after waking up, staring up at the camera

The next few weeks, I continued to be extra weepy when I mused over the last two years since Gabi (and now Ivy) have been in our lives. I still get weepy when I’ve gone through a few nights of little or no sleep (thanks to having a new born) but overall, I couldn’t be happier to have had the time of my life with this little girlie. She is full of life – from the way she colors on the sidewalk with chalk (maybe she’s the next Van Gogh!) to the way she loves running around in a circle over and over and over and over again, cracking herself up as if she’s just heard the greatest joke ever told in the history of the universe. Her smile can crack open even the most calloused heart. I want to learn from her on how to love life’s tiniest details, how to get excited over little events, how to sing, giggle, hug, play, show empathy for others.

But most of all, I want to soak up these moments, days, weeks, months - pour them in a bottle and keep them with me forever.